Let fear not win

When I had dinner with some colleagues last week I asked the waiter if the meat was halal. The respons was “Oh you’re that kind of trouble  muslim who only eat halláaaaal”. I’m sorry, did I ask for his chef cook to convert so he can kill the chicken halal? I don’t mind if it’s not hallal, I’m just asking. If it’s not, I eat some vegetarian food. No problem at all.

It reminded me of a time I went for dinner with my friends. One girl was getting married so we decided to go out to a nice restaurant and celebrate.  While we were there for 3 hours I realised I had to renew my parkingcard. So I left to renew it and went back in 5 minutes. Trying to walk in they forbid me the entrance. I was overwhelmed.  I didn’t connect it with my veil, I’ve been there for 3 hours already. When I asked why, they pointed out that caps are not allowed in a restaurant, so neither are veils. One guy thought he even had to point out that if I wanted to wear a veil, I should go to my own country.  The only reply I could give at that moment was “but….I am from this country”. I was so overwhelmed I couldn’t reply. Ofcourse hours later, when I was already home, I had a lot of replies for them in my head.  Which were not so nice, so I will not repeat them here.

This didn’t happen in a small village, it happened in one of the biggest cities. A big city where half of the youth population is ‘ethnic’. Is this common here? No, luckily not. Yet. But it does happen and waving it away as if these things never happen here is wrong. It happened to me many times (in different situations) and I bet it happens to others too.  We should be aware of this. It hurts people. It hurted me. I don’t care about (for example) the restaurant, there are many others places to go to. But I felt humiliated and ashamed. Ashamed to see my friends through the window and calling them that I couldn’t get in. My friends are awesome, so they stood up immidiately and left. They were mad. And so was I. I felt powerless, helpless, but the shame hit me more.  I think it’s dangerous too. And no, you don’t have to be afraid of me.  But if you get this over yourself many times I can understand why other youth gets frustrated. Frustrated about society, frustrated nobody speaking up,  and maybe so frustrated they distance themself from this society. The society they live in, where they were born and raised.  I’m a person who speaks up (if not at the moment, then later on), because I’ve learned how to do that. I’m well articulated and I cán. But what if you can’t? Where does this frustration go? It worries me.  Especially in a time where society seems to revolve around the individual. Where freedom of speech seems to be only for the ones who have the biggest mouth and hurts others the most. Where freedom of religion is not that common anymore and where fear seems to win.

I did not write this to place myself as a victim. I am not (and even if I was, I refuse to be one). I write about this, because this is reality and we should all be aware. Let fear not win. Let it not devide us into groups and fingerpoint at each other. Let it not stop us from communicating with eachother. And most of all, let it not wipe away respect for eachother, how different we might be.