Mourning for the loss of a dream

Sometimes I wonder if I mourn for something/someone I lost or for the dream or fantasy I had about it. To explain myself better I’ll give an example. What if you fall in love with someone. And afterwards you break up for whatever reason. Are you mourning then because of the loss of your lover or are you mourning for the loss of a dream you had. For the fantasy you had about you and that person together. Which in time you found out wasn’t true. Because he/she was not actually the person you thought he/she was. You maybe imagined he/she was. Or maybe hoped he/she was. Aren’t some people fooling themself by getting all upset for believing it was the love of their life they’ve lost? I have this friend who broke up with her boyfriend. And her whole world stopped. For months. She had lost the love of her life. As she claims he was. But actually he was a jerk. He mistreated her, cheated and wasn’t nice at all. So what was she mourning about? Him or the dream she had of the person he was? Of the picture perfect she had in her mind about them together. I believe it was the dream, but she still insist it’s him who she is missing. It’s hér feeling, so I’m ok with that.

And it’s not only about love, it’s also about friends. I’ve lost friends and because of the good memories I remember, I mourned for their loss. And I tended to forget about the bad things. I mean, they obviously weren’t the friends they’re supposed to be otherwise we would still be friends. So am I mourning for their loss or for the loss of a fantasy friend I had? And the same goes with family. Ofcourse I’m not talking about people who died.

After writing this I come to the conclusion I’m mourning mostly for the loss of a dream. But without any doubt I still keep on dreaming. Is it hope or naivety? Or do I just simply refuse to give up my dreams? Even if most of the time I’m mourning afterwards. But what am I without my dreams?